“The truth is what we say it is. Meet the team who says it.”
Meet the Editorial Board
The Baitman’s Institute is proud to be staffed by a diverse collective of peer-adjacent intellectuals, post-truth scholars, and freelance epistemologists. Our editorial board brings a wealth of experience in unverified research, dubious credentials, and bold assumptions.
While many of our editors were once affiliated with respected institutions, most have since pivoted to more creative forms of inquiry. All are united in their mission to challenge mainstream narratives, bend the boundaries of science, and occasionally plagiarize Wikipedia.
Every study published at Baitman’s Institute is reviewed under our patented “Vibes-Based Peer Review” protocol.
Dr. Thaddeus V. Mountebank, PhD, MCD, HVAC
Title: Director of Speculative Analytics & Counterfactual Research
Education:
PhD in Prolonged Observation, University of Northern Eastern Pacific Online
Master’s in Conspiratorial Data Modeling, DeVayne Technical Institute
Certified HVAC Technician (magna cum laude)
Bio:
Dr. Mountebank joined the Baitman’s Institute after a controversial departure from a mid-tier community college where he briefly lectured on cloud shapes and their influence on voting behavior. His groundbreaking paper, “Are Birds Real? A Comparative Analysis of Pigeon Density Before and After 5G Rollout,” remains permanently under review.When not fabricating research, Dr. Mountebank enjoys model train reenactments of global crises and yelling at weather balloons.
Dr. Calyx D. Blight, PhD, CN, LFK
Title: Senior Fellow of Nutritional Paranoia & Preventative Homeopathy
Education:
PhD in Quantum Nutrition, Aloha University of Wellness (Unaccredited)
Certified Naturopath (via fax)
Lifetime Fellow of the Kombucha Society (LFK)
Bio:
A former wellness influencer turned academic renegade, Dr. Blight’s research focuses on the intersection of bioenergetics, moon cycles, and gluten. Her best-known study, “Microwaves and Their Impact on Aura Vibrancy,” was banned from Whole Foods for being “too real.”She joined the Baitman’s Institute after being de-platformed from eight separate podcast networks in the same week.
When not advising citizens to drink mineralized rainwater, Dr. Blight lectures online via her metaphysical scooter school.
Prof. Emeritus Lars V. Glint, EdD, DDS (Retired)
Title: Chair of Digital Consciousness and Dental Surveillance Theory
Education:
EdD in Experimental EdTech from Altoona National Cyber Academy
DDS (revoked) from the Nevada Desert College of Oral Science
Bio:
Professor Glint’s early research into AI empathy and Bluetooth-enabled molars was considered “premature” by his peers and “deeply concerning” by the ADA. He pioneered the now-debunked field of ToothNet™, which theorized that dental implants could receive FM radio transmissions and behavioral cues.Since joining Baitman’s Institute, he’s focused on consciousness transfer via CAPTCHA training and maintaining the editorial integrity of the weekly newsletter, BaitBytes.
In his spare time, he plays jazz clarinet to his sleep apnea machine.
Dr. Nadira Velasquez-Jones, MPhil, DTF, ARPA
Title: Lead Theorist, Intersectional Holography & Nonlinear Memory Studies
Education:
MPhil in Ontological Narrative Studies, Bristol-Reno Global Campus
Certificate in Multiversal Archiving (via Discord)
Associate Recognition from the Paranormal Academics Registry of America (ARPA)
Bio:
Dr. Velasquez-Jones is best known for her 7-part series, “Was My Grandmother a CIA Psyop?”, which blends investigative memoir with speculative linguistics. She’s a pioneer in the emerging field of trauma-responsive time travel, and frequently presents at conferences that may or may not exist.Her current work at Baitman’s Institute explores how algorithmic memory holes can be harnessed for therapeutic gaslighting.
Outside the lab, she moderates six conflicting subreddits and choreographs avant-garde dances inspired by quantum collapse theory.