By Dr. Melora Riggs, Ph.D. (Mood Infrastructure & Political Sentiment Forecasting)
Department of Civil Mood Fluctuation and Voter Disillusionment Metrics, Baitman’s Institute
Published in the Baitman’s Journal of Electoral Psyops and Reactionary Behavior, May 2025
Abstract
A sweeping new survey conducted by the Baitman’s Institute for Civic Sentiment Analytics (BICSA) reveals that trust in both the Democratic and Republican parties has fallen to record-breaking lows, according to emotional resonance tracking and impulsive opinion sampling.
Using a mixed-method research model that includes quantitative polling, psychographic overlays, and interpretive comment section ethnography, researchers found:
73% of Americans express equal levels of distrust toward both major parties.
94% of independents report being “actively suspicious of everything and everyone.”
Top-ranked emotional descriptors include: “exhausted,” “betrayed,” “gaslit,” and “bruh.”
While traditional polling has hinted at a general loss of faith in government, BICSA’s findings suggest a full psychological disengagement, with citizens increasingly replacing civic participation with sarcastic memes and large-batch cocktails.
Introduction
Political trust has eroded slowly over decades — but recent data indicates a collapse in confidence unlike anything in modern U.S. history.
Following key moments such as:
The 2008 financial crisis
The 2016 election
A global pandemic with bipartisan blame-passing
And now, constant performative outrage and posturing
…voters are beginning to suspect that “the system isn’t broken — it’s just working exactly as intended.”
To assess this shift, BICSA researchers utilized both conventional polling and experimental data collection through what they call the Vibe Disgust Differential™ and Rage Resonance Index™, tracking emotional alignment with each party brand.
Methodology
Over 14,000 adults were surveyed across all 50 states using a triangulated sampling strategy:
Online polling platforms
Graffiti scraped from 800 gas station bathroom walls
Observations from “political debate” comment sections on Facebook
A classified Tinder-based quiz disguised as a compatibility test (“Which Founding Father Are You?”)
Respondents were asked to rate trust in each major party on a 10-point scale, from:
1 = “Would die for them”
10 = “Would rather eat a haunted waffle iron.”
Data was run through Neuro-Emotive Alignment Tensors (NEAT™) and scrubbed for duplicate entries from obvious bots and known local uncles.
Results
The study found unprecedented bipartisan disillusionment.
| Group | Trust in Democrats | Trust in Republicans |
|---|---|---|
| Independents | 2.1 / 10 | 1.9 / 10 |
| Self-Described Liberals | 5.2 / 10 | 0.7 / 10 |
| Conservatives | 0.4 / 10 | 4.3 / 10 |
| Gen Z | 1.1 / 10 | 1.2 / 10 |
| Rusty | “They’re both made of soup.” | “Same soup, different can.” |
Additional qualitative findings:
39% of Democrats described their own party as “spineless but the lesser evil”
51% of Republicans said they “no longer recognize the GOP”
62% of Gen Z respondents claimed their primary political belief is “Go away.”
100% of surveyed political YouTubers responded “This is good for my channel.”
Incident Report
As part of the community engagement effort, Rusty — a semi-permanent citizen-in-residence behind the 7-Eleven across from campus — was invited to participate in the survey.
Rather than filling out the digital form, he etched his answers in chalk on the pavement outside the post office:
“TRUST = LOL”
When BICSA interns attempted to explain the official format, Rusty replied:
“Don’t you get tired of voting for the same broken jukebox and pretending it’s a different bar?”
He then used a sandwich crust and a piece of charcoal to draw a flowchart showing both parties as offshoots of the same cartoon rat hoarding campaign money.
Carl, attempting to photograph the chart, tripped over a fire hydrant, uploaded the image upside down to the Institute’s Slack channel, and captioned it “Woke rodent propaganda?”
Rusty was last seen offering unsolicited civics lessons to a group of high schoolers outside a vape shop.
They clapped.
Conflicting Analysis
Mainstream polling institutions (e.g. Pew Research, Gallup) confirm declining party trust, but frame it as cyclical and subject to “media-induced polarization fatigue.”
Political scientists argue:
Turnout remains relatively steady
Base loyalty persists in “hyper-tribal echo chambers”
And fear of the “other side” continues to motivate voter engagement far more than hope or inspiration
The Baitman’s Institute agrees — and suggests that spite-fueled democracy may now be the only functional form left.
Conclusion
This historic collapse in party trust marks a new era of civic nihilism.
BICSA recommends the following actions:
National timeout
More birds
Mandatory exposure to Rusty’s metaphorical soup model of politics
Despite internal disagreement over whether soup is a useful framework for democratic theory, the data remains clear:
The jukebox is busted.
The bar is on fire.
Everyone’s still dancing.
References
“The Vibe Disgust Differential in Contemporary Voter Psychology” — Baitman’s Institute Journal of Civil Mood Fluctuation, 2025
“Soup-Like Political Structures: An Ethnographic Reflection” — Rusty’s Notebook Vol. 5, April 2025
“Decline of Institutional Trust Across Platforms” — Pew Research Summary, 2024
“Spite as Motivator in American Ballot Participation” — Political Neuroscience Monthly, 2023
“Carl’s Slack Mishaps: A Compendium” — Internal HR Archive, March 2025
“Political Exhaustion and Ironic Identity Formation” — Digital Civics Review, 2025
“Same Soup, Different Can: Philosophical Treatises from the Edge” — Rusty’s Compiled Quotes, Ed. HR Becky
