Advice – By Grace Ann Whitlock
May 27, 2025
Bringing this one small practice into your marriage could change everything.
They say the little things matter. And in marriage, that couldn’t be more true. Doing something as simple as getting up a few minutes early to pack his lunch, picking up his plate after dinner, or offering a quiet shoulder rub while he watches the game—these gestures might seem insignificant, but they’re actually part of a deeper, emerging relationship trend known as fluffing.
Yes, fluffing. Like fluffing a pillow. That’s the idea. It’s soft, supportive, and preventive care for the soul (and for the man you love). I first heard about it from my mother, who heard it from her husband, who heard it from his coworker Gary—the one with the little mustache. Gary reportedly muttered one evening (after a few drinks) that the only thing keeping him from leaving his wife was the occasional fluffing. Especially at the nearest truck stop. Not sure what that last part meant, but I believe the message stands: kindness keeps love alive.
Being a fluffer is all about initiative. It’s about anticipating needs without expecting praise. It’s about creating comfort before discomfort arises. It’s about keeping a man GOING, keeping a man strong and hardened.
You don’t need to buy fancy lingerie or go on some secular “intimacy retreat.” Just try fluffing! Ask your husband if he’d be open to it, “Honey, would you be willing to let me try adding a few fluffers to our relationship?” Let him know it can be fun.
And husbands? Don’t be afraid to be a fluffer as well! Don’t knock it ’til you try it. A simple turning over of the laundry, a light vacuuming, or wiping your pee off the seat can go a long way toward building mutual affection. Your woman may be surprised that you had it in you to put in work as a fluffer in the first place!
Now, I’m not saying fluffing alone will keep your marriage from crumbling. That would be foolish—and spiritually irresponsible. But it is a step in the right direction. Like many things in marriage, it’s not about fireworks, but warmth. Consistency. Reverence.
I’ll save my broader remarks about the state of modern marriages for another day, but I’ll say this: God gave us hands for service, not scrolling. So use them. Fluff something. Fluff someone.
Even the most tired marriage can be revived with a little breath, a little effort, and a whole lot of fluff.
Stay blessed. Stay padded. Stay fluffed.
About the Editor: Grace Ann Whitlock
Column: Virtue in a Godless World
Grace Ann Whitlock is a senior majoring in Hospitality Ethics with a minor in Theology and Marital Preparedness. She believes the key to a successful future lies in scripture, casserole coordination, and knowing when to offer firm eye contact.
Founder of the Abstinence Awareness Club and organizer of Baitman’s annual Modesty Mixer, Grace Ann uses her column to explore topics like biblical romance, prayerful homemaking, and the spiritual dangers of Netflix. Her writing is best read quietly, preferably next to a husband.
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