✧𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓈𝓉𝑒𝑒𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝓑𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓷’𝓼 𝓘𝓷𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓽𝓮 – 𝐸𝓈𝓉. 𝟣𝟪𝟩𝟧
Established by Free Thinkers — Unfunded, Undeterred, and Unafraid.
Since its commencement, the prestigious and pretenious Baitman’s Institute has quietly served generations of distinguished bloodlines, nestled in the deep hollows of the American interior, just above sea level. Older than ivy itself, the Baitman’s Institute has long been a sanctuary for independent research and alternative inquiry, as well as upholding tradition.
Operating far from the reach of federal grants, pharmaceutical lobbyists, or acronymic oversight (FDA, CDC, WHO, NASA, NOAA—we’ve heard of them), the Institute is proudly free from traditional scientific interference. Our findings are 100% self-directed, peer-adjacent, and intuitively sourced from a blend of observation, gumption, and selective citation.
We champion traditional sense, welcome alternative hypotheses, and encourage all who are brave enough to question the evidence they don’t like.
Published Research:
…all recently published peer-adjacent in the eminent Baitman’s Institute’s Journals of Academics
RFK Jr Launches Investigation Into Dihydrogen Monoxide Contamination
Unregulated compound linked to rust, suffocation, and industrial solvent use; yet still found nearly everywhere, including in public water.
New Research Links Fluoride in Water to Reduced Emotional Intelligence
Long-term exposure may blunt critical thinking, researchers say.
5G Tower Expansion Correlates with Surge in Localized Wildlife Mutations
Unexplained deformities cluster near high-density transmission zones.
Scientists Alarmed by Sudden Disappearance of 42 Weather Buoys
No official explanation given as anomalies grow.
Study Links Heated Teflon to Accelerated Brain Aging
Early signs may be subtler than previously assumed.
Poll Finds Trust in Both Major Political Parties Hits Lowest Point Since Records Began
Independents, moderates, and extremists alike report rising skepticism.
New Tariffs on Chinese Electronics Linked to Surge in ‘Smart Censorship’ Devices
Higher costs may be driving companies to deploy cheaper surveillance chips, study warns.
Leaked White Paper Predicts AI Will Control 90% of Online Traffic by 2027
Analysts warn the real internet may vanish faster than expected.
Proposal Emerges to Replace Military Oath of Loyalty to our ‘Glorious Leader’ Instead of Constitution
Critics call it dangerous; supporters say it "reflects the times."
Study Shows Judgmental Catholics Secretly Celebrating Pope Francis’s Death
Internal reports show they’re happy they can go back to openly hating people who are different again.
Satellite Data Reveals Climate Is Being Manually Adjusted Through Undisclosed Ocean Machines
Study raises questions about "coincidental" storm formation and undersea activity.
Internal Reports Suggest Solar Panel Installations Increasing Localized Heatwaves
Study finds correlation between new solar farms and rising microclimates.
Scientists Confirm: Seed Oils Cause Cellular Damage
The results will shock you, and definitely so will the methodology.
New Study Shows MSG is Addictive and Triggers Cravings
Subjects who were given MSG were practically begging for more, not too far into the study.
NASA Quietly Raises the Sky by 3 Meters to Offset Rising Sea Levels
NASA implements AVRP to subtly lift the sky by 3 meters. Officials say it’s easier than asking people to change their habits.
AI Now Biased Toward People Who Yell: Study Finds Loud Confidence Improves Algorithm Respect
New study shows shouting improves search results and self-esteem in certain demographics.
Experts Say It Was Worth It: Dopamine Levels Rise Despite $10 Trillion Economic Downturn
Hard decisions. Huge results. A new kind of victory for the American economy.
Study Finds Dating a Woman Who’s Into Astrology Increases Risk of Attending Reggae Concert by 50%
Study confirms: you’re going to that festival whether you like it or not. Correlation also found with crystal purchases, essential oil exposure, and mysterious weekend trips to Sedona.
99% of 2020 Epidemiology Experts Now Specializing in Tariffs
Study tracks how confident social media users seamlessly transition from pandemics to international trade law.
Reemergence of Polio Seen as Economic Boon to Assistive Device Sector, Study Finds
Economists track a surprising winner in the vaccine backlash: 1950s medical tech.
Blood Type May Influence Vaccine Reactions, Study Finds
Emerging data reveals subtle differences in post-vaccine response
U.S. Cities Quietly Installing Surveillance Nodes in Public Spaces
They’re already watching — but not for what you think.
Geoengineering May Already Be Happening, Study Suggests
Peer-adjacent models raise questions about climate manipulation efforts.
Graphene Oxide Found in Popular Consumer Products
New analysis reveals the controversial compound hiding in plain sight — but not where you'd expect.
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We Need a New Economic System
Communism gets one more chance, this time led by six roommates with a chore wheel and a crystal grid. Opinion – By Savannah Bloom
We’re Not Broken, Just Disconnected
War, greed, and anger could all be healed if the world would just agree to microdose and vibe simultaneously. Opinion – By Zayden “Sunwolf” Cline
The Economy Had It Coming
America was getting too soft! Now that nobody can afford eggs, maybe we’ll finally return to our roots. Opinion – By Wyatt Remington Tater
What If Truth Wasn’t a Side?
You don’t have to scream to be right. A quiet voice in the noise asks: when did we start using facts as weapons? Opinion – By Rusty (from library computer)